One day intertwines with the next. I have become a hermit and rarely leave the confines of my home, sometimes not leaving my bedroom. I try to get out every once in a while or I might go crazy.
I have been filling out endless paperwork for SSI and Disability. Damn! They want to know everything about me. Asking what makes me upset, what I do when I am criticized... They also want to know financial and personal information about anyone I live with. Well, I don't know all of the financial information and such about G. So they are out of luck. Maybe I'll be out of luck too...
I just need some money for personal items and pay a bill or two. Also for food. Looks like I'm going into rice and beans and Ramen noodles mode. I thought those days were over years ago. I forgot rice is in short supply of late.
Tomorrow I need to make some copies and mail off all of this paperwork. I need to hear something soon. Shit, where's the local food bank around here?
I'm supposed to get a Remicade treatment on Wednesday, that is if my insurance hasn't been cancelled. I'm worried about getting another treatment. What if the Remicade is just making me worse? I sure had a bad episode after the last treatment. I am so confused about everything anymore. I'm just going to crawl under the covers and hide. Maybe no one will notice I'm gone.
4 comments:
I had to laugh at the picture. That is precisely something G. would say. Your going to get better Michelle. And there is a lot of people who would notice if you were "hiding under the cover". Don't give up we love you!
I know Sherry through MS and told her about Blogger...I linked over to your page here. Anyhow, I read your post here and I just want you to know that someone out there is saying prayers for you. Your sister's poem on arthritis really made me aware of something I hadn't been. I hope things get less crazy and that you can move through this Disability system with ease. I also hope your pain eases. ~ Melissa
dear michelle
the pic was funny but the article wasnt. it made me sad. its so easy to say not to worry ...its difficult to be so. but u will be fine.have u ever talked to ur body? i know it sounds crazy. but v r not merely bodies u know that. be very loving to ur body. 40 yrs it has ben so good to you. it has made you look beautiful, it has worked ceaselessly for u even while u were sleeping. now it is not well. something has gone wrong. something that needs help. its the bodys way of telling us that there were certain times when we were not kind towards it and now it needs our attention and love. talk to your body ...say that you care and you want it to get well soon. say u r grate ful to such a lovely friend of past 40 yrs.
do u believe in naturopathy?
and we all love you as u r tho i hve never seen u but i m able to connect since i have also suffered a lot of ill health in the past.
dont give up at all.
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