My hips don't lie

Early this morning I woke up with horrible pain in my hip. I slowly tried to get out of bed. When I put pressure on my leg it sent shooting pains in to my hip. It is even worse if I happen to twist or bend.

Will this ever end? I had such hopes with Remicade. I have tried so many other treatments. I think the only RA medicine my body hasn't been injected with is Orencia. I did feel halfway like a human being for a week after the steroid infusion. My reprieve is over.

Every day is a mystery as to which joints will be painful. What will I not be able to do each day? Will it be painful to try to walk? Will I be able to brush my hair or brush my teeth? Will I be able to get up if I sit down? Will I be able to hold my cup of coffee in my hands? Will I be able to turn the doorknob to leave my bedroom? Will I be able to shower today? Will I see a bright side to this existence? Will I ever be truly happy again?

Today has not started off well...

Infusion day

I had my visit to the rheumatologist. My results were back from my ultrasound. Every thing looked fine there. So that's good news. The results from my urinalysis showed blood in my urine again, so I did another test to see if that has cleared up. If it shows blood again she wants me to see a urologist about it. It seemed like it took longer than usual for the infusion. I got there at 10:30 and didn't get out of there until 2:45. I can usually fall asleep while I'm there. Mostly because there are nice comfy recliners for us. No sleep today. Maybe that's why it seemed to take so long! I really need to get a recliner at home. It sure would help me get some sleep on nights when my shoulders or hips are hurting...

Overall, I felt pretty good today. Some pain in my shoulders and hands. So I decided to go grocery shopping after the doctor's visit. The price of everything is going up. It's really getting ridiculous.

Well I forgot to make copies of all of the paperwork for Disability. I need to copy all the information so that I'll have a copy for myself. I really hope it doesn't take as long as some people say to hear something back from Disability. I've heard stories that it takes a year or two...

Monotony

One day intertwines with the next. I have become a hermit and rarely leave the confines of my home, sometimes not leaving my bedroom. I try to get out every once in a while or I might go crazy.

I have been filling out endless paperwork for SSI and Disability. Damn! They want to know everything about me. Asking what makes me upset, what I do when I am criticized... They also want to know financial and personal information about anyone I live with. Well, I don't know all of the financial information and such about G. So they are out of luck. Maybe I'll be out of luck too...

I just need some money for personal items and pay a bill or two. Also for food. Looks like I'm going into rice and beans and Ramen noodles mode. I thought those days were over years ago. I forgot rice is in short supply of late.

Tomorrow I need to make some copies and mail off all of this paperwork. I need to hear something soon. Shit, where's the local food bank around here?

I'm supposed to get a Remicade treatment on Wednesday, that is if my insurance hasn't been cancelled. I'm worried about getting another treatment. What if the Remicade is just making me worse? I sure had a bad episode after the last treatment. I am so confused about everything anymore. I'm just going to crawl under the covers and hide. Maybe no one will notice I'm gone.

Dreary Saturday

Well, I awoke to the sound of crashing thunder early this morning. I absolutely love thunderstorms. The power of nature is amazing. I listened to the storm until the sound of the thunder gradually faded. I then dozed off until around 8:00am.

My stomach was rumbling and gurgling. This has been going on since about Tuesday of this week. I've been having annoying issues with my stomach or digestive system. Serious bloating, fullness, cramping, you name it. If nothing shows on my ultrasound, I'm going to make an appointment with a gastroenterologist. It sucks when you are hungry and can only eat a couple of bites and feel full. If I eat more, it comes back up... At least maybe I'll lose some weight...

It's supposed to be a rainy weekend. I'm not sure if I'll be doing anything exciting. I do want to go see Krystal's bundle of joy on Sunday. Maybe do a cookout with the family.

My RA pain is not so bad right now. I guess maybe the Solumedrol infusion I got this week has helped. I felt pretty good the other day, so I decided to clean up and rake the front yard. Bad idea! The next day I felt horrid. Pain in my shoulders, hands, and hips. I so want to do things, but my body makes me pay for it later. So what am I supposed to do? Sit around and watch life going on around me? I'm still going to do some physical things on occasion. If I have to pay for it the next day, so be it. Today I have some pain in my wrists and elbows. It's not as severe as last week, which is a blessing.

I want to have a garage sale next weekend. I'm strapped for cash and need to pay for my insurance and a few other things. I'm dreading it... A garage sale can be a royal pain in the ass! But we have so much stuff in our garage, not to mention the junk (er, I mean treasure) in our closets. This house is packed with way too much stuff. Time to clean it out! I almost forgot that I have quite a few things at my dad's house too...

That's all for now.